Coming full circle (Squeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeel!!!)

Almost two years ago I was diagnosed with Attention Deficit Disorder, a neurological condition that I believed to be the root of any & all ills in my life. If you don't know what AD/HD is though I'll wait here while you google it.

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Since then however I have not only learned to accept it, but to a certain degree embrace it. So much so that I didn't imagine I'd ever write about it again... Until last Thursday night.

Some backstory is relevant... Well, the backstory IS the story.

I was busy at work one Friday, looking forward to home time & the impending weekend when along came a young man. During our conversation he told me that he had written his first ever computer program, in a morning, that very morning no less!

I recall this meeting as though it were yesterday... I recall saying how I wished I could do as he did, how I wished I could do (pretty much) anything, but I didn't have the concentration... I didn't have the means to express myself… He then asked me some very non-leading questions & at the end of the conversation said, "It sounds to me as though you have Attention Deficit Disorder. Google it."

So, last Thursday I had two appointments, both ADD related. The first I didn't mind, it was Cognitive Behavioural Therapy, the second was a group thing at my local support centre. I was only going for friends I'd met there because I hate talking about myself & that's such a big part of it.

I arrived late, from one meeting straight into the next, my stomach churned as I realised the introductions were heading my way.

"Hi, my name is 'Sonnet,' I'm thirty-five years old & was diagnosed with ADD a couple of years ago... What would you like to know? ... Ask me questions or there'll just be silence". *blushing*

The whole time I've been on this journey I've cast my mind back often to that day, to the nameless man & to how he changed my life forever, to the answers he led me too.

They asked their questions; I answered some & avoided the rest with the finesse I'm known for, (apparently.) *winks*

Everything moved on; as everything tends to.

I have attended these meetings on & off since I found the centre, I've often, if I'm honest, wondered what was in it for me. I felt the whole thing was rather repetitive. But last week I realised that I was no longer there for myself, I was there for the new people, & when asked my thoughts, I said as much.

Others spoke after me, of course. But one person stood out. He has been affiliated with the centre for a long time, over ten years now. He was succinct & interesting, & educated about the subject... He spoke with such flair & passion that I was drawn to him.

At the end of the evening, just as I was about to leave this same person approached me, curious as to whether we had met before. If some years ago, one Friday afternoon we had spoken on the subject at hand. He described the when & where... & I knew it was him.

Perhaps you don't see the significance, perhaps you don't understand what happened inside me at that moment. & that's okay. But all these years I've thought about that hour I spent in his company, trying to remember any clue as to who he was... & now I've met him, I've hugged him!

There is another meeting this week. He will be there. I feel almost giddy every time I think about it. I know I'll have to make a real concerted effort not to follow him around like a hero-worshipping doe-eyed oddball... I am so excited about seeing him again that I'm honestly not sure what to do with myself.

Must appear cool, calm, & collected.
Must not tell him I love him.
Must, MUST not get arrested for stalking!!!